Tag: anger

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Depleted.

Maybe it’s the end of the world: maybe it’s the real and present threats to my students and my country from the inside, and maybe it’s a huge bundle of folks not listening, asking questions, and using creativity and resourcefulness to craft solutions, but I am feeling dang cranky this morning. There are nitpicking issues, and the usual miscommunications, but those are inconsequential and self-serving.

I wish: 

Every educator who voted for Trump would renounce him. I can forgive that you wanted change. I can almost forgive that you listened to years of vitriol about Hillary Clinton from your right-wing nutjob media sources and felt assured in your stances and opinions. But what I cannot forgive now is your complicity and ignorance in the face of overwhelming evidence.

Every friend or family member who is not writing to Congress now, calling, or telling those they voted for this will not stand. This is not a liberal or conservative issue. We are being attacked by domestic terrorists and fascists on our own soil. Treat these traitors as you would any foreign threat.

To every district in the nation, it is time to speak up. Take a stand. There are no two sides here. We do not want a white supremacist nation or whatever hellscape vision of racism and jack-booted dystopia you believe you are entitled to. Others receiving help does not mean you are less or being taken from. Once YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WILL BE FREE.

If you practice a faith, do a gut-check about what your faith is. If your faith includes cognitive dissonance, hatred, racism, bigotry, then you’re already in your version of Hell, and you’re taking the rest of us with you. My personal beliefs bear no weight here, and my conscience is clear.

I and others will fight you as the enemy you are. And when you’re ready to surrender your tired ideas of hate, we will treat with you, call a truce, and work to bring peace back to our nation.

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Am I angry?

red queen

Yes. Sometimes.

But I think I’m at the life stage where it’s not so much “anger” as it is “resentment.” This may look like anger, and it can smell like anger, but anger is basically fear wearing a mask. Resentment is more like the sword of (in)justice ringing unsheathed–righteous indignation’s big brother.

: a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury

What makes me resentful? Well, a lot of things: disrespect, ignorance, greed, the twins, Miss Communication and Miss Information (the two ugly step-sisters of Miss Guided). I wish I always acted the hero, always did what was right and just for the greater good, but alas, I do not. Resentment is the foundation of every decent villain worth his salt (and vinegar). The hero doesn’t do things because they are resentful–they do things and act courageously because it’s difficult, well-intended, and helps others besides themselves. The villain is just pissed off.
Recently I took offense at something that was created by Miss Guided, Miss Communicated, and Miss Informed. I didn’t take the high road –not even close. There’s still the “smell of anger” on my muddy mental shoes. Got down in the muck, and am covered in it, head to toe.
And now that I’m thinking about it, I really should get over myself. How about that? I’m not going to apologize for my opinion. I think I give out apologies too quickly, when I should allow myself to have an opinion for once, and not bend and be flexible. A fixed mind set is, well, rooted deeply. But sometimes my “bending tree” has slapped me in the face with a branch. But I will get over myself, and try to be a bit more full of grace.
But before I try on some humility–I might be right.
Okay.
I’m done.
I’d love to know how others “get over themselves.” I’m not very good at this one.